I had this article all typed up yesterday. I had this burst of inspiration and let it all out onto the keyboard. I had TJ (my husband) proofread and we set off for a family day in downtown Seattle. I was planning on making the final changes last night then sending it in for publication. Well, when I got home I opened my computer and just started closing windows I didn’t need. Yes, you guessed it. I closed my article and I even pushed “Don’t Save Changes”. Ugh. A tiny wave of frustration swept over me, but I easily accepted my fate and realized, “it just wasn’t meant to be”.

Our day yesterday was fabulous. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect, we rode the water taxi, we did some casual exploring around Pike’s Place market, we walked to the monorail, rode it to the Seattle Center (where the Space Needle is) and had lunch in the food court. We even found a little empty store front and fantasized about it being filled with my cupcakes! Of course there were a few tough moments. The older boys have been particularly spunky lately and we knew this ahead of time. I know I get a little frustrated when we are waiting in line for something and they start bumping into to people. Patience is hard sometimes and staying in the moment and focused on your child when other people are around can be even harder. Sometimes it’s hard to ignore staring eyes and stick with my principles.

Though, I do wish I saw more children when we are out on weekends. I wish we saw more playing and being silly instead of being made to sit still and quiet. Another really strange thing that parents do is shame their children. A lot. While exploring around the market we found this cute little toy store. The boys played with some puppets and then Milo found a train table. I picked up a car and I said, “Oh these must go on the tracks too.” A tiny little man, no older than 4 said to me in a tiny little voice, “No dose don’t go on da twack, dose go on the woad.” I placed the car on the track and said, “You’re right! I didn’t even see the road!” His mother said his name in a very disappointed way and told him not to do that, twice. Huh? Not to tell me I was wrong? Not to talk to me? Not to tell me where cars go? I didn’t even get it. I smiled, courteously thanked him for his information and walked on. It’s exactly how I would have treated an adult who offered up the same info.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I don’t know if I’m particularly sensitive to it or what. Skylar notices how people treat their children all the time. He can’t stand it when an adult is hurtful to a child and wonders why parents say no so much. He’s really sensitive to their tone of voice. When a parent takes on an angry or irritable tone with a child, Skylar always seems to notice. I just don’t understand why people shame their children for trying to interact with another adult. I like interacting with kids. Sometimes they are so much more awesome then their parents! They are playful, and curious and as you just read, informative! I can’t even count how many times I have said to a parent, “He is fine! I’m enjoying [insert activity here]”.

I used to get irritated with parents like that. Especially one’s that seemed outwardly vocal about their dissatisfaction with whatever their child was doing. But over time, I’ve learned something. I’ve learned that I just can’t judge where a person is in their life or why they are acting a certain way in the moment. Last year in an airport after a long vacation and a long flight, I snapped at Skylar. I didn’t mean to, I was tired and hungry and ready to be home and it just came out. I happened to overhear someone talking next to me and she called someone a witch right at that moment. I have no idea if she was talking to me, but it sure felt like it. I immediately felt so horrible, but I had this giant realization at the same time. Maybe without being so openly mean, I had been doing the same thing. I had been judging people in the moment. This woman didn’t know me or why I was feeling so crappy, just like I didn’t know any of the people I may have judged in the moment.

Yesterday, while we ate lunch there was a mom with a young toddler. She was frustrated with everything he was doing. I just kept hearing her snap. My own children were antsy while waiting for their food. We played hand games with each other and did little tricks with our fingers. We laughed and smiled. We were very connected and engaged. I noticed the other mom noticing us. Then something happened, her mood seemed to change. Slowly she went from impatient and irritable mom to smiling and connected mom. Later on in the evening TJ said he noticed it to.

I don’t know if it was our example that helped her find it within herself treat her child respectfully, but I feel like it did. I could have shot her a dirty look every time she yelled at her tiny child, but I didn’t. I played peek-a-boo with the boy instead. There is something about kindness that goes a long way. That’s kindness to our children, to others, and to ourselves. Kindness just seems to pass through people and on to the next. It’s catchy and it’s wonderful. The way I treat my children, is the way I wish everyone would treat their children. Maybe that’s catchy too.

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